My sister, Kelli, bless her soul – completely indulges my psychotic thinking. I don’t know what I would do without Kelli in my life to help me through some of my thought processes. The following is a text conversation we had this morning.
WARNING: This is not a clean conversation. If you get offended easily, this is not for you. However, I did try to clean it up a little.
Me: How would a 6 fingered person flip someone off? What a terrible injustice to be born 6 fingered
Kel: Whatever you don’t just get one finger from them. You get two!! That’s like “screw” you twice. You can’t beat that.
Me: It would look more like “peace” than “screw you” or would it be “screw you peacefully”
Kel: No u don’t spread them it would look like two fingers tell you right where to go
Me: Then that’s more of a sexual connotation for “fingering” so that not “screw you” that a “up yours”… either way, I don’t think it means the same. 6 fingered people obviously have gotten “The Finger” for life, on giving the finger
Kel: I don’t think so, Bc u know they attract all the freak a leak girls at the bar but they have to get special gloves
Me: Do you have to pay extra for the extra finger? I think they should throw it in for free. Its rude to make money off a deformity
Kel: I bet they cost less bc u know their g’ma or someone makes them or somebody with a heart makes them gloves for free
Me: That’s not fair. Yes it’s a deformity, but not really a disability- maybe it’s a pro-ability. Like a super power. It would be like a parlor trick –
I have more strength in my finger than you do?
Oh yeah? Which one?
And they would win every time… well, unless there’s another 6 fingered person, then they would finger wrestle to the death
Kel: yea, but what is they were going to hold hands with someone, or type on a computer. They would have more trouble than we do with can openers.
Me: No one has more trouble with can openers than we do! (we are both left handed – and not can opener friendly). And typing would be easier, their pointer fingers wouldn’t have to stretch to reach the “T” and “Y”. Holding hands – their fingers would always be on the outside having the most control.
Kel: I bought an expensive can opener and it works great
Me: Pampered Chef?
Kel: No, Michael Graves
Me: I tried pampered chef one time – still couldn’t get it. You’ll have to teach me wise way of can opening Grasshopper
Kel: Michael Graves is my secret
Me: He’s kind of old… I’d definitely let Channing Tatum open my can
Kel: Mmm me too
Me: This convo would be blog worthy if it wasn’t filled with vulgarities
Kel: No one would understand
Me: Brian would (our brother) I wonder if it’s a genetic mutation
Kel: Yep definitely
Me: I’d rather have incredibly gifted thinking skills than 6 fingers any day
Kel: LOL but no one would ever steal your gloves
Me: If someone would steal my hummer hubcaps I’ll bet someone would steal my gloves
Kel: Lol you do have good luck
I look forward to our next adventure!